At 9:15 a.m. on Saturday 20th December 1997 I was just getting ready to leave home and prepare for a funeral service in Bampton. This was nothing unusual, except that day I wasn't changing into my Pall Bearer's uniform, for the sixth time that week I was changing into my Funeral Director's uniform and getting ready to take the place of my Dad at the head of the funeral service, due to Dad being hospitalised the previous Saturday after suffering a heart attack. At 9:18 a.m. my life changed for ever, I would never again carry a coffin with my Dad proudly leading the procession in front of me, and suddenly I became the "Mr Squires" of Walter H. Squires & Son. My Dad died.
Ten years on and I can still remember that day like it was only yesterday, but despite the memory still being so vivid and fresh it also seems like a lifetime ago.
At 23 years of age I was faced with the task of running the family business and ensuring that it continued in a way Dad would be proud of. This was quite a daunting prospect as I had no experience of running a business, I left school with very few qualifications and my Dad had also left some very big shoes to fill. I wasn't as daunted as I could have been, or perhaps should have been, as during the eight previous years that Dad and I worked together he had done his best to pass on to me as much knowledge and understanding of our profession as he could.
When I look back on our short time together I only now appreciate how frustrating it must have been for Dad, I wasn't most attentive of apprentices but he did his best to teach me what he could, and what I learned from him has helped me in everything I have achieved since.
During the last ten years the business has progressed, there have been many struggles but there have been equally as many successes and I owe each one to the foundation Dad left behind.
When I look to the future I wonder if Mel and I will have children who will join us in the family business, perhaps they will frustrate us as much as I frustrated Dad. Perhaps they will do everything in their power to make us proud, or perhaps honour our memory. Who knows? I do know that if we are privileged enough to have our children want to join us in our family business I will draw on my experience with Dad and cut them a little slack now and again. I recently read a quote which made a lot of sense and also meant a lot to me - "By the time a man realises that maybe his Father was right, he usually has a Son who thinks he's wrong".
I have remarked to many people that even Dad's death was a way he could teach me. He taught me what it was like to lose someone you look up to and respect. He taught me what it felt like to be bereaved and in doing so he taught me how to be a better Funeral Director, to be able to empathize and not just sympathize. Although I have no doubt he would have chosen to teach me in a different way if he had been given a choice I still think Dad would feel that something positive came from something negative.
Ten years ago I had no idea what the future had in store, and I have no idea what the next ten years might bring. All I know is that Mel and I, with the help of our dedicated staff, will ensure that everything we do would make Dad proud.
With much love Dad, Ryan.
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